“The moment a Child is born, a Mother is born also”. – Osho
I’ve been wanting to put my birth story together and finally have found some good time to do so. Writing this is like writing something that seemed like it just happened yesterday! And then soon, all over again with my second child coming April 2019. Have you ever thought to yourself what it would feel like to give birth and how your body will react to it? Eventually one day the time will come. When my time came, honestly mind-blowing experience I’ve ever had in my life! This was my experience and my raw truth about giving birth. If you’re interested in reading more then keep scrolling down! =)
My Doctor told me my due date was October 13th, 2017. Close to my due date, I kept asking people and read mom blogs about how their birth story went that it kind of freaked me out. I did all my research on what happens to our body during the process and etc. As a new Mom, you just want to know everything! I was more afraid of the pain and how long I will be in labour than anything else. I had an image of how my birth will be like and how I would act, but truthfully, everything that happens is unexpected. I prepared myself for all of the possible unknown.
It began on the morning of Friday, October 6th, 2017 at 39 weeks Day 1. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling so uncomfortable and slight pain shooting into my stomach. I looked at the clock and it was 4:00 am. I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn’t. The uncomfortableness kept coming back if I just lay flat down that I had to constantly move around or just get up. The pain felt like period cramps. I knew I was having contractions as the pain kept coming back and forth. I thought to myself I might even be going into labour today! I used this app on my iPhone call Baby Center and there’s a contraction timer I used to time my contractions. My contractions would come back even quicker and slightly more painful.
I woke my Fiance up and told him I was having bad cramps and that I couldn’t sleep. I called the nurse from the hospital and told her what my condition was. She told me to take a warm bath or use a hot towel on my stomach. I tried to keep calm and relax as much as I can at home but I just couldn’t! And I did not take that advice. It’s 4:00 am, I don’t want to be in the water. I was exhausted from waking up in the middle of the night and I just didn’t feel like making myself a bath, I wanted to be in bed so bad but it was pretty intense! I just wanted the baby out now! lol. I kept pacing back and forth in my room and I was walking even faster as the contractions kicked in. I called back the nurse, told her I can’t be at home anymore and she then told me to come to the hospital and get checked.
As we got to the hospital, it was about 5:00 am. I couldn’t even walk to the birthing unit that my Fiance had to wheel me all the way there. Finally got changed into the gown and got onto the bed to get checked. I was really hoping they wouldn’t send me back home. I was hoping and praying I’d be more than 5 cm dilated. I didn’t want to get sent back home and feel this shitty and in pain. After the doctor checked me, thank God I was already 5 cm dilated that they weren’t going to send me home and I will stay there until delivery.
At the point, my water didn’t even break either and I was dilating very slow. I think I was dilating a cm every hour or so. While waiting and waiting, I just walked back and forth in the hallway. I couldn’t sit still or lay down, moving was what made me feel better. My contractions were feeling like an internal pull. The doctors and nurses were waiting to see how fast I was dilating and maybe see if my water would break. Still, everything was going slow and no sign of water breaking.
Now getting the Epidural was one question I had to decide on. Near the end of my pregnancy, I never thought of getting pain meds or I never talked to my OB about my birth plan. Most of all, I wasn’t going to take any drugs to ease my labour. I wanted this baby out naturally because I was afraid of being numb waist down and the aftermath. While sitting in my room, my nurse asked me if I wanted to get it, I kept contemplating “Should I, or should I not”? It was such a hard decision for some reason. I didn’t even know what was going to happen to me. I was dilating so slow, my waters not breaking, I didn’t know what to expect. All that was running in my head was feeling nervous and how my baby was going to be born. I was sitting on this huge fitness ball bouncing up and down and then I tried to shower in hot water to ease my pain. I just wanted the best of my first labour and for it to be safe.
I took the laughing gas as I was bouncing up and down the fitness ball. The laughing gas was distracting me thinking of my contractions and with a little help from the fitness ball hoping it would raise my baby’s head lower and go in labour faster. Every time I felt my contractions, I breathed in the laughing gas but it wasn’t strong enough. At this point, the pain was kicking in quicker and more painful now. I couldn’t do anything. Literally. My doctor and nurses came in at this point, I don’t remember what time this was at but they said they will have to break my water, I still was dilating very slow.
I didn’t have that much unbearable pain until my water finally broke. Probably after 5 minutes or so, oh man……. extreme pain on what level!! “Okay, I want the epidural now, please”! I told the nurse. And thank goodness I was not too late to get it. I had to wait 20 minutes on my bed for the Anesthetist to arrive. That was honestly the longest 20 minutes ever! At this point, I think it was like 12:00 pm. While waiting, I remember staring out the window into the gloomy weather, thinking to myself “What the hell did I get myself into…… Am I going to be okay? Am I going to survive? I miss my entire family, where are they! Am I going to make this pregnancy”? I didn’t know how much longer I could take this. I felt like my life was over! It was like an excruciating, shooting, sharp ass pain circling and going all around my back and abdomen, like my intestines were getting squeezed and pulled around. It was a feeling of menstrual cramps but intensely multiplied by a million. I was sitting on the bed and squeezing my Fiance’s hand as hard as I could with all of my strength.
Finally, the Anesthetist arrived and I got the epidural. I waited for a bit and then I laid down. I was even able to fall asleep too while letting it kick in. I don’t remember how long I slept for but I remember waking up first thing on my mind “Oh man I’m still here…”. Suddenly I felt like I needed to take a huge crap. It started feeling super heavy like a huge rock sitting at the bottom of me and I felt like I needed to push as soon as possible. My nurse was kind of getting on my nerves, she told me that I didn’t need to push and just sit and wait. I told her I extremely feel like I need to push now I think I can feel my baby’s head coming out like something hard is about to drop out! I just kept telling her, Yo I can’t hold it in anymore I seriously feel like I gotta push please do something! She was just sitting there watching me go crazy literally lol.
Finally, she called the doctor and other nurses to come and check me, I was at 10 cm dilated already and my doctor told me to push now! So, damn, I knew I needed to push this damn baby out!
It was the deepest and strongest breath and push I ever had to do ever in my life. During this process, the nurses even asked if I wanted a mirror to motivate me to push harder too but I refused that advice. I do not want to see anything! lol. I even had to go into a sideways position to push too and that felt super uncomfortable for me that I went back onto my back. If your wondering about still able to feel contractions with epidural, no you don’t feel it like its a sharp pain surrounding your entire belly but you do feel this uncomfortable pressure that comes and goes, which is your numb contractions and that’s when you’ll push. Not sure if all hospitals are the same but where I was, there’s a button beside your bed that you are able to press it for more epidural if it’s not strong enough for you. For my preference, I only pressed it once.
It seriously felt like it was going to be a never-ending process in this hospital room. I kept looking at the time and praying to God for a healthy baby and a safe delivery. I was getting so stressed out, uneasy, and over-whelmed about everything. I was sweating so much. I was squeezing my Fiance’s hand and I’m so glad I had him by my side to encourage and support me throughout this process. I don’t think I could’ve done it without him. Although at one point he was just pissing me off telling me how to breathe when I was already out of breath! Like, Dude do you know how crazy out of breath I am and you’re telling me to deepen my breaths even more?? lol. Anything or anyone can piss you off at this point of labour, literally. While pushing, I can hear my Fiance shouting “His head! I can see his head! He has so much hair!” lol. And the nurses telling me his head is about to come out which motivated me to extra push the heck out!
Finally, after 2 damn hours of pushing, my son finally came out! It was 3:15 pm on the dot. I was in labour for 11 hours.
My son weighed 6.2 pounds and was 19 inches long. Healthy little baby boy with lot’s of hair lol.
Finally, after 8 long months of patience, I finally got to hold my precious baby boy. I can’t even explain the feeling into words how astonishing this whole entire pregnancy to giving birth experience was. I was completely in awe of seeing him in my arms and hearing his little cry. I can just remember the feeling I had when I stared at him, my life changed forever the moment we both locked eyes.
Honestly, all of that excruciating pain I was going through all went away as soon as my son came out! Most of the people I know also told me the pain just goes away immediately once the baby is born, and its true. It was gone within a blink of an eye and I felt so relaxed right after. It felt like it took me forever but the minute I saw my son, it’s like I kind of almost forgot I was in so much severe pain. Next part after pushing my son out was also one last push of my placenta. I thought this was another very fascinating part of delivery because I never even knew this was also going to happen while giving birth. It was more of an uncomfortable feeling than painful. I also tore a teeny tiny bit and got two small stitches. After my whole labour, it took me about 3 months to recover fully and feel normal again.
All of us women go through such a big different experience in giving birth but how beautiful is that we all end up with the same reward! This was the most intensely painful feeling I ever went through. An unknown and unexpected experience which of the most and best part makes it magical and a moment that will forever change a life.